Baby Lovies!! (and an article I disagree with)

Mireya has been so loving and sweet lately! I love how she comes up and gives your leg a big bear hug. You can squat down, hold your arms out and she'll run into them and give you a hug. If I stretch out on the loveseat, she comes over and stretches out with me. If I sit on the ground, she often grabs a book and then crawls up into my lap to read it. I LOVE IT! She never used to slow down long enough to get or receive lovies. It is so nice to finally be able to give her all the snuggies I want. Maybe she finally realized how huggable she is. I am really loving this stage! Of course it comes with more of the crying when I won't pick her up, but it's more than worth it for those random squeezes she gives me throughout the day. She is truly the best baby ever. I know I say that a lot, but how can I not? Hello!? Have you met Mireya?

Chillin' with Mommy (Hey Dad!)

Mireya is playing some funny new games. She loves it when I crawl around on the floor with her and growl. She giggles nonstop, especially when I "get her." The little stinkpot loves to be chased and tickled. It's so cute! She also invented a silly game where she crawls between my legs and then her Daddy's and while she's crawling through her Daddy's, I run and get ready for her to crawl between mine again, and then her Daddy does, and so on. I have no idea what the appeal is, but she really enjoys it. It makes me and Daddy laugh like crazy. She has also learned to tackle. When I get down on the floor to stretch, she rushes over and jumps onto my back or belly, or whatever she can. She crawls all over me the whole time. What a silly goose!

 

Mireya brings so much joy to my life. Yes, there will always be the frustration too, when she's having a bad day or I am. Heaven knows that some days I want to run away for a couple of hours without a baby or a husband in tow. It's hard when Mireya won't cooperate with anything or if she is grumpy. The fact of the matter is though, that there are so many more good times and amazing moments when she makes me smile so big that my cheeks ache. She makes me laugh more than anyone ever has and she gives me this warm, fuzzy, about to cry lots of happy tears feeling when I hold her. Sometimes I just stare at her little face and marvel at how much love I feel for this tiny little person. Those are just a very few of the reasons I disagree with an article I recently read on my CNN app. Here's an excerpt that couldn't be more wrong, in my opinion:

Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert's book "Stumbling on Happiness" looked at several studies and found that children give adults many things, but an "increase in daily happiness is probably not among them."

He says that psychologists have found parents are less happy interacting with their kids than doing activities such as eating, watching television or even exercising.

"It's such a counterintuitive finding, because we have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not," said Simon.

"From the outside you see the detrimental effects of what our cultural beliefs cause, yet there is this group of people telling you children are the best thing that will ever happen to you," said Copeland.

I don't think that everybody should have children, nor that everyone who does will find the happiness from it that they perhaps expected. However, I know that I have found more happiness in raising Mireya than I personally could have imagined. She undoubtedly increases my daily happiness level. The simple pleasure of showing her something new or reading her a story is definitely better than anything else I do all day. I don't think that if you don't have kids you should be pitied or that you will never be truly happy. (It was mentioned in the article.) That's ridiculous. Everyone finds their true happiness in life through different things. Part of mine comes from my husband, part of it from my daughter, and part of it from me and my personal passions, like animals.

Here's another excerpt:

"I always find it interesting how parents complain about their kids, yet follow it with a statement pertaining to how fulfilling their life is," she said. "I have yet to meet a parent that does not have an almost daily story of how their child has stressed them in some way."

It is true that in one paragraph you can say as a parent how frustrating and stressful it is and yet how you wouldn't change it for the world. I've said as much in several paragraphs just in this post. I could also say the same thing about being married. Jason is wonderful and amazing and I love him so much. At the same time, he makes me angrier than anyone I've ever met and sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and chase him around the house. I could also express the same duality with work, college, best friends, mothers and siblings, just about anything. It is not something that's unique to having children.

Another excerpt:

Simon says there are other challenges for parents, too. The sociology professor said marital satisfaction decreases after the birth of the first child and continually decreases over time.

This is absolute nonsense for me personally. Watching Jason be an amazing father to Mireya has done nothing but INCREASE my marital happiness. To see the smiles on his face and Mireya's when they play, or the patience when Mireya won't do what she's supposed to, or a million other expressions when he's interacting with her not only increases the amount of respect I have for him, but the love I feel too. I am more emotionally and physically attracted to Jason now, than the day we got married. Even more than the day I gave birth. Jason also has changed in the way he perceives me. I have noticed that he gives me more respect after watching me as a mother. He expresses more love on a daily basis. If you asked him, I have no doubt that he would say that his love for me is growing, not diminishing as the article claims.

I realize everyone has their own opinions, and while I appreciate everyone's right to share them, I sometimes disagree so much that I really wonder what kind of an impact an article like this has on our country. Will college students who planned on having children in five years after they graduate suddenly doubt that choice? Will couples who don't have children yet, but are considering it, let this be the final bit of 'research' that decides for them? Who knows? Probably not, but I wonder if an article like this does have a detrimental effect on even just one person or couple, was it worth it? It would be a shame. I hope this article doesn't give those parents who really aren't enjoying it, a reason or proof that they don't have to. Sometimes I see parents who don't have a problem telling their children that they don't want to be a parent. I hope this doesn't give them an excuse.

Having children is not for everyone, but for those of us who have them and love it, this article is aggravating.  I go to bed and Mireya is one of the last things I think about before falling asleep and the first thing I think of each morning. Just because every single minute isn't perfect and yes, having a child increased my stress level in many ways, that doesn't mean that I would trade a minute of it or that I ever regret it. Who's to say that some people don't actually live longer, happier lives because of their kids? I made a conscious, well thought out choice to have Mireya and every day I'm grateful that I did. I knew that it would be a lot of hard work and stress, but the joy I get each day from being a mommy to my little girl is so far beyond anything negative that it's incredible.

A picture is worth a thousand words:

Mireya, I LOVE being your mommy each and every day. If you choose to be a mommy one day too, great, if not, great. As for me, thank you for coming into my life and INCREASING MY DAILY HAPPINESS. You are a marvelous little girl. xoxo